I am an idiot

Its been a weird day. I say day but really I should say evening. I didn’t wake up until after 4pm. Apparently I had a conversation with Jon on the phone around 1ish but I don’t recall any of that. To be fair I didn’t go to sleep until after 6am. So I have had about 10hrs which is pretty average for me.

I am an idiot, I thought I was suffering with hypercapnea but really I just needed to put my oxygen levels back to 2L.

I had been breathing so much better lately and my lung function test 2 weeks ago confirmed it. Because of this there was some talk that I would have a review of my oxygen intake and being the sneaky bitch that I am I had asked Jon to just tweak the knob a teeny bit down every day, thinking that when they put it down themselves it will already be there and I would have been used to it.

Then I got Pleurisy didn’t I!

What with the lung cancer scare and the pain and worry I completely forgot. It is now back at 2L and I feel better than I did. Not great but better. Note to self don’t try and run before you can walk...literally.

I need to ring Jacky my COPD community nurse tomorrow and ask her to call on me. There is the medication to change and I also want to discuss with her possibly changing my consultant.

Thats it for now, I need to sleep now.

I do not have Cancer.

They are 99.9% as sure as they can be that it isn't. The truth is they don't know what it is other than an infection. Pleurisy aside I am feeling better than I have for a while so that puzzles me but whatever. They are putting me on even stronger antibiotics.

The transplant is on hold until the shadow has gone. I had an chest x-ray today and it is just a waiting game. She mentioned again treating me for TB but I shook my head. I am not doing that to my body unless she can prove to me that that is what I have, and I do not believe that.

I don't mind saying that I do not like this person. She is a poor communicator and a sanctimonious prig so it is difficult working with the woman. Hey Ho!

I am not sure I even want a transplant anymore. What I saw in that hospital has made me think differently. It is one thing accepting I might die on the operating table but quite another having to suffer like what I saw there.

Because I have been feeling better I can think straighter and I want to concentrate on keeping myself healthy and that means exercise, something I have not being doing. I intend to go back to Pulmonary Rehab. and hoping that they have one in the village now so I can get there on my own.